Here's my attempt at a Shakespearean Sonnet. I cannot think of a title fitting my piece, but then again, the titles of Shakespeare's pieces are simply the first lines of each. Iambic pentameter is hard, I'll admit to that.
So swiftly does the heart attach itself
To something knowing little of its make
Not well aware of being placed a-shelf
To opportunity t'is not yet waked
The rope is tight about its strain-ed neck
Deception stays the knot in shak-ed hand
The pirate leaps, and gallops, bounds on deck
Such beaut of treasure tuck'd by orn’ry band
The heart is locked away in seaward chest
A tempest torrent tosses landward miss'd
Aboard the key, jew’l precious lost at best
To fateful night of parting, ‘pon lips kiss'd
Beware of where thine darling heart wears thin
tis easy ‘nough to break, ne’er ‘tend to’ve been.
This is so rad. Seriously, if someone had handed me this beautiful sonnet on a piece of paper with Shakespeare's name at the bottom, I wouldn't have doubted for a second that he'd written it. You are talented; perhaps the world's next great poet, Rachel Croonquist. This was really good.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt Shakespeare was a genius, but I'm pretty sure that you are too! Wow! This was great for many reasons. I saw not only a perfectly functioning sonnet, but I also saw various literary devices. I saw great alliteration, imagery, and metaphor. You're brilliant! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful Rachel! My favorite line-- "A tempest torrent tosses landward miss'd"-- not only does the alliteration work, but I love the driving rhythm, especially given that the current focus is a ship rocking at sea! Great application of iambic pentameter. And because you were so determined to wrangle the meter into submission, you experienced some of Shakespeare's trials: lopping off syllables to squeeze your meaning into one line. I also enjoyed your development of the different scenes-- the heart as a person about to be hung, then as a treasure, and Deception personified as a pirate. Such a great illustration of the vulnerability we experience when we make our hearts open to love, and of the risk we face if a benefactor proves untrustworthy. The ending couplet gives a forlorn warning, and one that could only come from experience.
ReplyDeleteBut don't worry: although hearts break, they also mend. I promise-- I'm living proof.
Good writing chickie!
15/15
this is great! i like how it flows really well. it doesn't seem forced at all.
ReplyDelete